Sunday, September 19, 2010

As he bids farewell to his father and remembers the journey to a new continent

Today was the day that my father once again left us after staying for about 29 days, a relatively long stay as he usually stays for maybe 3 weeks.

Bit of a back story I suppose, but here goes.
I believe it was back near the end of 2000 or some way through 2001 that we moved from the country of Turkey to a small country called Qatar in the Middle East. (More on that some other day I suppose)

We lived in that incredibly hot country for about 5 years. It was probably a relatively dark time, I was very much shunned as that country did certainly seem to be overly religious and also very racist towards me. Either way, I had a good group of close friends and I was definitely sad when it was time to leave.

My dad had a really good position with this company called AES, he was managing a power plant and every day he drove about 45 minutes to get to it. (Not significant, but in that small country, he literally went from one side of it to the other) For a good 5 years, my father lived with us in a house. The whole family was together back then, and times were good. Our cousins also lived there and we had a large group of family friends.

And then a point came, where my dads company wanted to reposition him to Nigeria, where they were attempting to open a new plant and needed some big hands on it and so on. My dad really liked his position, and didn't want to lose his spot in the company. But at the same time, he didn't want us "growing up in Nigeria," he was hoping for a better education for it.

So he did something that I've always admired him for having the courage to do and that is, send us to Canada (where his brother, my uncle lives) and go him self to work in Nigeria. It is here that I Have started my own new life, where I have met friends and done things I would never have previously thought possible. It is here that I have grown to be what I am today.

We arrived in Canada on December 21st 2005, I remember that I actually liked the fact that we got "Pizza" on the plane, and at that point there were TVs for every chair and such. None the less, a long flight is one to always make me exceptionally dizzy and motion sick.

Getting off the plane, the first thing I really noticed were all the signs in a strange language which would be French. When we left the air port, it was snowing and there I was in light sweater or what ever with my bag full of summer clothes from a hot country. we met our uncle then and lived with him in Missisauga for a while. At some point, we rented another apartment in Missisauga and started attending school over there. My parents went house seeking and eventually only found a house they liked enough here in Richmond Hill.

My dad of course, always has grand plans and his plan was to buy a house here and some day he'll retire or try to find different work in Canada. So that's what we did. None the less, for a few years it has been him working over seas and visiting us ever so often. Maybe every 3 or 4 months for a few weeks.

I've actually been to Nigeria to visit him as well, and that was a bit of an adventure because that of course is where I got my HATTY, and where we went on a Safari and various other stuff.

Either way, it was a very very personal thing for me to see the conditions of a country struck so deep by poverty and corruption, I was followed by guilt for living a good life around the general population there. I think it was a very humbling experience for the younger me :)

Back to topic, my father constantly worked hard and then he would visit for happy times. This continued for maybe 3 or 4 years and eventually my father moved with his company to South Africa where he stayed for a few months. Since then, my father has left AES and is now working in a different company. He left it because his friend was doing something in Pakistan and he wanted to work in his rightful home for a few years.

So today is a bit of a silent day in my house, my brother is off to university and my dad is off to another continent. My little brother of course never actually gets off his computer and my mom is sad. I think apart from my dad, it has the biggest toll on her, which I guess would be obvious.

Being at this stage of your life without your father is always a very limiting experience, there are things I wish he could teach me, or talk that I wish we could share. Of course, what it really does is make me appreciate him that much more. I realize just what it means to have a father and this makes me truly feel for those who aren't as fortunate.

I can't say my situation is too bad, it isn't. Many have it so much worse. But the fact remains that I miss my daddy ever so dearly. With my father not here, I feel a lot of more responsibility on my shoulders, as if I am really the man on the house. This was always true, as my older brother is a bit of a dunderhead and not attentive enough to do anything. Now however, that he is gone I feel this burden weigh ever more heavily on my shoulders.

But we live on, let me tell any one who actually reads this, love your parents. Appreciate the hard work your fathers put in for you and the burden your mothers bear.

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