And he dreams.

This next post is going to be a bit of a cheesy one, but then everyone needs some cheese on their pizza of life right? :p I'm sorry that it's so badly written, it's just one of things where I feel so strongly about it that I end up being pretty much word less.


Going around socializing or just internet surfing, we read all of these hypocritical posts from so many about following our dreams. Shallow posts, without meaning but just words. The same people later laugh at me when I explain my dream to them. Of course they think I'm joking, it's a bit absurd isn't it? I'm not really mad at them or anything, it's just that some dreams are hard to follow and believe in, sometimes you need genuine encouragement and not just shallow words.

On Thursday 18th November, I ended up confirming my great dream. This was the first day that I really performed music live, in a small rock band sort of setting. We played at Java Jive and Pie, playing Amaranth by Nightwish.

It was kind of sad though, I got a bit over concerned with the general sound and making sure that everyone in the audience could hear us properly that I didn't really pay much attention to the exceptionally easy song that we were playing and ended up making quite a few mistakes *heh*

I was very nervous, but not about the audience. I was nervous about what this experience would mean for me. It was a little bit of a test, to see if this was something I wanted to do again. Something I might possibly want to do for the rest of my life. Quite frankly, it passed the test.

The amazing feeling of being on stage was not lost on me. It was in it's own way ecstasy, a bit like a dream that I didn't really realize had happened until I wasn't there any more. It was then that I realize that this really is the one true passion I have and is the one real thing I want to do with my life.

I have made blog posts before about how I want to live a life that's different, how I want to find a way to make my self immortal, and this is kind of what I want to do with it.

If you haven't really got the big idea yet. My big dream is to actually be a musician. A bit absurd isn't it? I'm here with all of these brilliant friends who are going to go on to become great human beings who help our entire race through various fields. And here I am with my own dream of becoming a musician, an entertainer to say the least, maybe a bit of a selfish dream isn't it?

Right now, at this moment in life, I know nothing that I love as much as music. I know nothing that I have ever loved as much as music, and I know that if there is any one thing that I can do for my entire life and live a fulfilling, joyful life, this is it.

My entire life, I've never really known what to do. I wasn't one of those kids who instantly knew that I wanted to be a doctor growing up, or an engineer or anything. I was always confused. I also know I'm not the only one like this. And now, the hour approaches when we have to make decisions that will affect our entire life. Things like picking which university and which field to go into. Quite frankly, I still have no idea what I want to go into.

It's the saddest thing, that music, my one true passion. Is something that I have absolutely no natural talent at. Being born into a very non-musical family has definitely had it's affects on me. As an example, I cannot sing at all, while I do have a decent natural voice, I also have a funny accent, and am pretty tone-emulating deaf. In the sense that I'm not tone deaf in hearing, but in emulation. I'm also not even close to perfect pitch with my hearing. My sense of rhythm is for the most part naturally horrible, but through a lot of hard work, it has progressed so far. Ask any body in my family to keep a steady beat and you will be met with a laughable failure.

I only really started listening to any music at about the age of 10, and I only started listening to actual, genuine music in grade 9, the same time I started playing music properly. Such a short time, I know. But in this short time, I cannot believe the passion that has developed for music inside me. I feel like there's really nothing else for ME in the world. Nothing has felt as important to me as music. Discluding people of course.

A stupidly long and hard road lies ahead of me. As far as I have gotten with my instruments (guitar, drums, bass, future instruments) has all been through hard work. While other kids sit at computers playing Call of Duty, I am in my room, playing guitar.

But it doesn't feel like work of any sort when I play music, it feels so fun. It's amazing to always be challenging yourself. I've also noticed that unlike most of my musician friends, I am no fan of learning songs. I love improvising or just creating my own stuff. What does that mean? I don't know. I guess it means I like trying to be original?

To be honest, becoming a rich musician would be a pretty easy task. I already know I'm good enough to a point where I can go to a record company and ask them for a job as a session guitarist that would just play the easy parts that make our modern day pop songs. Songs that are made purely for money and not for the eternal beauty of art. But this isn't what I want to do, to be told what to do, make plenty of money and live with the knowledge that I helped mind game millions of people into making money for a company.

I want to be my own musician, I want to make my own art. This also basically means I'm going to die poor, unless I get very very very good. So yeah, that hard work factor does kind of come back and hit me in the face.

There we go my friends, THAT is my dream. Are you still going to encourage that I follow it? Or will you laugh and think that it's a hopeless cause. Will you think that I am joking, because it cannot possibly be true? Well it is.

It's a hard dream to even dream, one is faced by constant discouragement and frowning.

But what does this mean? Why do I still go to school and trudge over my math homework instead of practicing my guitar? Well because obviously I'm not an idiot!

In life, we must always strive to make it the best that it possibly can be. To me, I feel like playing live to 30'000 screaming fans would be the best possible experience I can have in life. But it is not the only good experience I can have in life. There are so many other things that are still worth living for.

That is why I still go to school and get an education. I do have other passions that are more secure for a future. Things like the sciences and history. I am still going to go to university, and try to get a job after leaving. But the entire time, I am going to strive to chase my true passion. I will try my best to become a successful musician.

Which is why when any body asks me what I want to do in life, I reply with a tardy: "scientist by day, rockstar by night"

If I pursue a career in some field of science that interests me, I will still have a good life. If I keep music as just a hobby, I will still have a good and happy life (assuming I make it so,)I just feel that it isn't the best of happiest life I could have.

That would be being a rockstar. Which I already know is a bit more than just the lit stage.

That is why I still plan to go to university and get a job of some sort. So that I do have something secure to fall back on, if my dreams and hopes fail (as they very likely will)

It's unlikely I will ever really become a rock star, maybe I am dreaming too big. But that's just it, if you shoot for the stars, you might just make it to the top of the tree right?



Now my turn for a genuine passage about following our dreams.

Live your life, assuming there is no heaven. Life it is as if when you die, you really die and there are no second chances. Find what you love, a true deep passion and chase it. Make it something that you actually want to do for the rest of your life, chase it. Make it your dream, chase it. Like a race dog after the fake rabbit, chase that dream. Because this is your one and only life. You have that one chance to make it the best you possibly can. Remember, you cannot do every thing. But you can do so many things that may at some point seem impossible.

Remember "We avoid risks in life, to make it safely to death" Don't get stuck living a life of repeated actions and motions. Stand out from the general crowd, do not get caught up in the web of the capitalist markets, make your own decisions because you do have the power to do that.



But that's just Zammar talking, he's a noob who dreams big and some day wants to go be a rockstar, there is no way on Earth he could possibly be right. right? ;)

And he remembers

This date, November 11, is a very humbling one. A day of deep reflection, a day when instead of looking at the ground of where we tread, we look at the sky. The unchanging sky that those before us saw in their dieing moments.

Remembrance day.

For nearly 100 years, ever since the official end of world war I, this date has been a day of solemn remembrance. To any and all who have sacrificed in a war. There are so many that fall into this category, and I feel that many of them are not as reflected upon as we would want them to be.

This is the day we remember every sacrifice. The sacrifice for a mother of her lost son, of a family for their home that was destroyed, of the many who starved due to rationing, conscription, the sacrifice of having to live your life in fear, the sacrifice of having another mans blood on your hands, the psychological trauma, stress, health conditions, death.

Now, if you do read this blog regularly enough, you're probably expecting me to go on about how I feel that our generation does not appreciate this day enough.

To be honest, I feel that to be partially true, but also to be over stated. I know that most people who realize the occasion do take the solemn time to think, for a few minutes about the importance of the day. AFter all, we are still living our own lives and we cannot always live in the past. How ever, I feel that many do not delve deep enough into the reflection, and they think only about how these lives meant their lives today. Once or twice my friends, try to put your self in a soldiers shoes.

There are certain things in life that are completely un negotiable, certain loyalties that you follow. An example would be your dormant love for your parents. No matter how much one may think he hates his parents, naturally his heart and body has affection to them.

Another, is a soldiers duty to his band of brothers, to the flying flag of the country he represents. This is why soldiers are out there, they have an undying loyalty to fight for their country, for their families and for their friends. To have the strength of will, of mind and power.

Many of the tasks we do in our every day lives have a purpose and task. We go to the library to check out a book, we are loyal to this author, so we want to check out his book. But then we are weak. Our minds can be so easily diverted, we do not go to the library because we are too lazy and just want to sit around on Facebook.

This is not a soldiers life, they go away from home to fight for home. While away, they risk life and death every day for their country, for their flag. This is the un negotiable loyalty of a soldier. To have the mind and will to assault a fortified position, because they know that it has to be done, despite the fact that they will very likely die. That is a sign of absolutely unwavering loyalty. This is, I feel one of the greatest qualities of a human being.

Read the post right below this one, it talks about our perspective of reality. This is a very similar situation, hopefully, we may never know what it feels like to be a soldier or any victim of war. But we can imagine my friends, on this day put yourself in someone else's shoes. Imagine a victim of a war, pick any war and just imagine that today, November 11 you are that person. Then, I think we may truly appreciate the sacrifices that have brought humanity this far.

War, I believe is necessary. I feel that the human population does indeed need controlling, wars have also helped us to advance so far technologically.

However, it is nothing to be taken lightly. Of every war that has happened in history, those people lived through suffering like that which you can never imagine. Did a girl or guy ever break your heart? Well imagine that pain magnified a thousand times. People who saw through eyes, thought through a mind, felt through their hands, smelt their rationed dinner and chewed on the tasteless junk. These people need to be commemorated, they need to be remembered.

Imagine my friends, if you lived through that. In your dieing moments, would you too not hope that some day that the world remembers? That this same event never happens again?
Or maybe you survived, would you ever want to experience this again, would you ever want someone else to experience it again?

Remembrance day. While it may only have started on November 11th 1918, and isn't specified in every country, I feel that this day represents so much more than the sacrifices of human beings in war. I feel that it represents the struggle of humans as a species through out our history.

There is so much behind that last statement, take it for what you take it.
But this day my friends, this is a day we remember those who sacrificed in war. I'm not going to be cliche and say "so that we may live our lives today." No. That is not the sole reason why these people sacrificed.

They were put in a situation of horrible hardships. A human instinct to survive kicked in. A situation which no individual should have to face. Of course they sacrificed, but not for us. Our great life is a result of their sacrifice.

A man (or woman) I feel must be remembered by more than who they were, they must be remembered for their ideals, for what they stood for. To only remember these great heroes because of what they did for us, I feel is too selfish. These were human beings like me and you, remember what was important to them in their lives, why they truly did what they did.

And then, I think you will truly remember.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BSJ8rDlBZ_I

And he inspects his perspective of reality

The reason I created this blog was to have a place where I can express my own views on every thing, where any one who might care can see through my eyes, so that they may see or at least glimpse the way I look at things, a little glimpse into my existence, my life my mind I suppose. I think this post is at least slightly related to just that.

Recently, I have been reminded just how different life can be through another persons eyes and another persons mind set. Sometimes, for example a friendship to you may be something very different to someone else. The way we look at anything and every thing is so different, every body thinks differently.

I think one of the main reasons for the way people think is what we experience in life, apart from just the way our neurons work or what ever, actual life experiences will always change the way someone views something. I suppose that is pretty obvious isn't it? but it's an important point.

We live, we feel, see, hear and touch so that we may compute what is going on, so that we may compute "reality." But really my friends, what is reality? Do we not live our lives unaware of so much that happens in "reality," how to us in specific, that which is happening is not a reality but just a piece of news?

Somewhere in the world, a young orphan breathes his last breath the same moment you are reading this sentence. Is that a reality? What is it to you but just a thought, an abstract idea, a creation of your mind, an image of a dying child, fair haired, covered in soot and dust laying on a street pavement, his last sight the very stone that so many have stepped on?

But what is it to that orphan? To him, this abstract idea of yours, it's something that he actually touches, something he feels, smells and hears. He can sense his death is coming, he can feel that his time has come, he can sense his own fear, a feeling of anxiety building up inside of him, unsure of what will happen now.

Take your hand off the mouse and touch your nose, do you feel your smooth human skin? Is that a reality? What is that to the orphan? He simply dreams of it, of being able to sit in a well heated room at a technological piece of marvel reading a cool guys' blog. To him, your reality, is an abstract idea, a creation of his mind.

Earlier today, maybe one of your good friends came up to and started telling you a story, of an event that you did not witness. You stand there and listen, try to create an image in your mind of what happened to this friend of yours. But what is it to your friend? A very real memory, an exact recreation of every small detail, the experience of feeling and touching and smelling and hearing in those moments that this event happened. The same thing that to you is nothing but an abstract thought, is to your friend something entirely different.

Think about our beautiful planet, imagine it to have a personality, a mind of its own. Everything happening to it or anything near by our planet would experience. But what would that which happens at the Eagle nebula, some 7'000 light years away be to our planet but just an abstract thought?

This is really why we miss so much in our social lives, where somethings which may mean so much to us mean nothing to our friends.

It feels to me, like reality is anything and everything that happens to anything and everything. A lion in Africa stalking his prey is just as real as me on this computer typing a blog post.

How ever, the difference is really in our perspective of reality. Everyone has a different perspective, a different "reality" to their minds so to speak. It's a difficult concept to grasp and put into words, but in a way, my reality is so very different from yours, dear reader.

We live our lives with a little "bubble" around us, everything that happens in our "bubble", is everything that we experience. To us, that forms the reality of our minds. Often times, our bubble of reality may touch that of a friends or family or anything and we may get a glimpse into their reality. An example of this would be you reading my blog, you are getting a glimpse into the reality of my mind.

And this is where the earlier concept comes back to mind, our own "reality" is so distorted because of how different every human being looks at everything. We think so differently that everything appears differently, at this point one must question what really is reality?

What we perceive, is it really reality? There is reality, and that is the scientific fact of everything happening. And then there is what we call reality, which is what we perceive.

We all see from our own eyes and feel from our own senses. We live a life and see many things, we fool our selves into calling this reality.
But in reality, it's almost like we're all living our own personal little fantasy, isn't it?