He considered

I once considered falling to my knees
to pray to a god
and lay my troubles at the feet of one greater than myself
to trust my fate to a greater power
it would indeed be a comfort

but then I remembered
the famous words of William Ernest Henley

Then I remembered
That I am the master of my fate,
That I am the captain of my soul.

He dreads the curse of mortality

Imagine if you could live a life without the knowledge that you will some day die. Imagine if you could just live, without the shadow of your imminent death haunting your every move. Imagine if you could live without the curse of mortality.

Then you would be immortal.

After all, immortality is nothing but the lack of mortality...and mortality is nothing more than a mind set.

He sighs in harmony with the wind in the trees

Many may not think it, but I actually care incredibly about the environment. My current goal is to grow up and be an Environmental Engineer, not the regulation kind, the designing kind. I want to participate in the creation of a renewable energy resource, or find some way to purify salt water completely, I want to contribute to mankind's ongoing struggle to secure a place on this planet without in the process destroying it.

Well, I guess one can say "Who doesn't care about the environment? I mean really?" I feel like it is too easy for us to say we care about something, to believe we care about something, but not really care about it.

Either way, that is not the topic of this post.


For us, here in the Western cities, surrounded by mankind and all it's ingenious inventions, it is easy to demand. We see these beautiful videos of beautiful places across Earth on Discovery, and we demand that they be preserved. We demand that people stop destroying the worlds biggest rain forest, we demand that people stop cutting down forestland for farmland, we demand that dam is not built, we demand the oil spill is cleaned up, we simply sit here and demand. Of course, we are used to getting those things we demand aren't we?

How naive and narrow minded we are.

Preserving the environment must be an incredibly complex issue, especially because of human beings who call that environment home. Think about the Amazon Rainforest, a large portion of that forest is being cut down for farmland. Yes, it disgusts me too, but put yourself in the eyes of the farmer. That farmer needs his land so that HE can survive, so that he can put food on the table of his family. For us with our fancy gadgets to just demand that he stop right there, that he stop trying to create a life, to live...? What right do we have to do that?

Think about it, who do you think appreciates the beauty of the Amazon Rainforest more? We, who see pictures and videos? or that farmer who sees it through his own eyes every day?

Fact of the matter, is that every human being that lives or has lived has had some sort of impact on the environment. It just happens to be that many of the ones trying to create a life right now are stopped by us who have already had ours created. Do you think our great grand fathers didn't cut down forests and destroy beautiful landscapes to exist? Of course they did, only they got away with it.

I often feel like the wrong people get blamed for destroying the environment, these farmers are just trying to make a life. It's better than those companies who are destroying Earth to make money.

To be honest, we all know that it's us who are the real problem. It all comes down to our over expenditure, our wastefulness, and our weak consumer minded willingness to buy into anything thrown at us by the corporations. The worst part? We don't do a thing about it, we just accept that we can't make a change as just one person, and that those big guys have to.

To be even more honest, there is only so much of a difference that we, as individuals can make. Not that we shouldn't try, but turning off the lights, sparing water, recycling and etc. Will make a difference, it really will if a large amount of people do it. It's something that we should all incorporate into our own lives, and in the end it all just becomes a habit.

This is the very least we can do, I see too many people litter, leave lights on, waste water in the washrooms, waste toilet paper like crazy, throw away paper without really using it, and leave their computers on all night (just look at MSN at 5 in the morning?)

HOWEVER, say a large portion of us who are ruining the environment took our baby steps to save it and actively participated to reduce our carbon footprint, it would not save Planet Earth. It is no reason not to do that, it's simply a matter of fact.

The fate of our planet lies solely in the hands of those who are in charge of our society. 1) The politicians 2) The corporations.
Notice something? Both of these are actually after your approval. Your opinion, and your money. Don't you think we can do something about that?

But the jist of it all, is that we are a greedy, greedy society. We can say that we want to save the environment all we want, but no one actually wants to give up lighting, heating, extra food, computers, cars and all of these other luxuries we enjoy.

No, I revise my self. The fate of our planet lies solely in the hands of scientists. Technology is mankind's only real hope. I agree, technology has contributed greatly to the destruction of the environment, but we have progressed far enough that it can save it too. As a race, we must unite and open our eyes.

But what do we do? How can technology save all of humanity, when all funding is spend on wars and military to destroy it?

Human Beings need to realize that these borders that divide us were implemented by us. They mean absolutely nothing to Mother Earth. They are nothing more than psychological barriers that plead to our inner pride, they will be our eventual doom. Divided we fall, and fall we will. Humanity needs to learn to collectively think as one, the potential our race has is immense. We are already so much farther along than any other species on Earth because of ability to think collectively. But we must not ruin our gift through division amongst ourselves. Division of any sorts, race, religion, sex, and most importantly countries.

If we are to live, every country needs to lay down it's arms and become peaceful enough to really and truly invest in saving the environment.

He reasons

Through many recent and not so recent situations, I have learned that you can not reason someone out of a situation that they did not reason themselves into.

He realizes his years

I realized something of significance tonight in the car...I am 17 years of age. Turning 18 in January, it's the first time it's really ever hit me, that I am sort of old now.

The years of fun, leisure and non caring, easy going living are far behind me now, and they will never return. From here on out, I will struggle every single day to try and fit in, to try and find my own place in this crazy world of ours. From now on, life get's serious, and so must I.

He Plays the game of life

The following is a very badly written post, I haven't written in some time so please forgive me. It's also a post that I know many will love to argue against, please do :p I think these posts would be a thousand times better if I actually bothered to read it over/edit ._.



Many smart philosophers and writers are often want to say things like "Life is a game, and we are all but a pawn" even William Shakespeare said that "All the worlds a stage" In our modern day, a lot of idealistic people I know seem to argue against this point. Many claim that life is not a game and that we choose our destiny and we choose what we become and every person has an intense burning significant.

Still though, one can not argue with the similarities that life has to just a game.

Think about each of us as an individual, now think of a piece in a game, say chess. Like the piece in the game, none of us has the power to choose what we are born into, additionally, what we are born into predetermines the path we will travel for the rest of our lives. It predetermines the hardships we will face, the friends we will make and the victories we will win.

Someone born into poverty will sadly struggle his entire life against it, let us compare him to a pawn...A piece that is not too significant in most games and a piece that is used by those that are higher than it self.

Now, the pawn has a hard life in front of him, he can move only one square at a time...A limitation comparable to those born in poverty...He has not much to offer and is easy to wipe out, he is plentiful and competition is intense. BUT, every now and then a pawn that is hard working, a pawn that is determined, disciplined and dedicated will make it to the end of board. He will make it to that point where he can become great, where he may be substituted for any piece in the game.

Isn't that a lot like life? Where those born in poverty must fight and struggle just to exist, fight against the higher born like us. But every now and then, someone will make it, over come poverty and be able to give a better life to his children than he did himself.


Every piece in a game has set limitations made with it, these limitations determine what sort of affect that piece will have on the entire game. Pawns may move one square up (unless starting) and kill only one square diagonally...Where-eas a Queen may move any where she pleases excepting the knights movement of course. Now, which of these will play a more significant role in MOST games of Chess?

The same can be said of life, all human beings are born with limitations that limit how far and what we will do in life...Some may be born with horrible diseases that they have no control over, others mental handicaps, and others handicaps that they place on themselves.

But the point is, it would be nice to believe that every body is significant, it would be nice to believe that every body has a a destiny and something to do that will make humanity better...But is it really true? Just like the Queen will make more of a difference in the game than a pawn, the president will make more of a difference in the world than a telemarketer. If that telemarketer, or if that other person just died randomly...How much of a difference will it really make? What would never be that could have been? I don't mean to downplay people as individuals, I think everyone is amazing in their own way and I think everyone is significant in their own and their friends lives...But how many of us are really significant in the larger picture, in the game of life? What blow will humanity suffer if a drunken, broken man dies? Only the potential that must have been, that always was...and was buried deep down

When most people say that life is not just a game or just not a play, they say that we all have the freedom of choice and choose what life we live. But is that really true? Do we not make choices specifically to the deck that life has dealt us? Do we not choose specifically because life has given us a specific situation...What if, maybe some how our choices too are predetermined, like we are meant to choose to go to university and study, which would have been our choice any way...Now I don't really know how to believe that, because that would require some sort of religious belief there too so I don't think it goes that far.

It just means that the choices we make, we make because life gave us that situation in which to make that choice...The result, is that we can not reallly choose, we can struggle and fight and try to make our lives better, but why do we do that? We do it because life gave us some thing to fight, life gave us a situation to struggle against, and life gave us something to fight for.

Yes, you are right...We create situations ourselves by choosing, but life gave us that situation when it gave us that initial choice. It just makes me wonder how much power we really have. I may often picture life as a complex algorithm with different paths and different choices that lead you down those paths...But what is the basis of the algorithm? What is it that gives us these specific choices to make, these specific decisions, to live this specific life?

In the end, one must ask...Do we have any real say in the matter? Or do we just go with the flow? Is life all nothing but a game? A game with no meaning other than to just survive?

He dreams of contact

Are we alone?

The answer to this much pondered question should be obvious...No, of course we are not. From every thing I've read, I find that it is impossible for Earth to be the only planet in the entire universe that can sustain life...The only way this would be possible in my eyes is if there is a divine being, but really, how likely is that? hehe ;)

*it's actually a really funny thing, I had a discussion with a friend who I know to be very religious about aliens, and she said to me "I'll believe it when I see them" I couldn't help ponder her beliefs in her god here"

Sometimes we just need to have faith, I Believe there must be some other life out there, whether it is cultured, intelligent or even capable of movement is not as guaranteed in my mind. Given the vast quantities of the universe, It's highly unlikely we'll ever actually run into other life though, but just imagine...

Imagine what our first contact will be like...What will mankind learn? Will we learn of ancient civilizations that destroyed themselves from within, foreshadowing our own imminent destruction? Or will we learn new methods of space travel, will our laws of physics be flipped upside down? Will Einstein be proved 100% off mark?

Or will we simply stare through a microscope, at a tiny life form...A tiny reminder of how small we really, truly are. A tiny reminder of how life will find a way, always?

Let's imagine our first contact is initiated by an intelligent alien race that arrives on Earth, a race that may or may not wish to take our planet for themselves

What will mankind learn from this race?

The biggest question I have here, is will mankind stand united, or fall divided?

Upon seeing another intelligent life form that is so different from us, will we all realize just how similar we are to each other? Will we realize that these trivialities that separate us now, such as skin colour, gender or race really have no more meaning than the blank page that we often find at the end of a book?

Will mankind learn to stand united, to help each other, to look after others of it's own race, to accept all human beings as the same and one, to accept that this is our race, this is our heritage, our inheritance and everything that we are, it is everything that we have?

Or will mankind divide and break apart? Will there be political disagreements on how to treat the aliens? Will we wage war with ourselves to obtain these new technologies? Will we struggle against each other for an ally in a sentient being? Will those of us with power kidnap the outsiders to study and experiment, despite many protesting against it?

Will mankind destroy itself from within? Will we, in our individual, selfish greed, and our collective thrust for knowledge destroy the very bonds that separate us from more primitive forms of life?


I often think about what our first contact will be like, sadly it will probably not occur in my life time, it may never occur at all. If it does occur, it may just be us stumbling upon some microscopic or primitive organisms, not that that alone wouldn't be beyond exciting.

But I feel like mankind's ultimate test, the test that will prove our mettle as a race will be the one where we meet our equals, or the one where we meet those that are superior, that are beyond us. What will humanity resort to? What means will we go to not only survive, but to thrive?

But more importantly, how will we change as a race? Will this be the end of all of the many problems that we have placed on ourselves? Will we finally act on our current realization that we are destroying our beautiful planet? Will we see that we are disgracing members of our own race, that all we ever really seem to think about is ourself, as an individual, and not often about our race as a collected unit?

I think the most important thing we could learn from contact is that humanity is small. I know that to us it may often seem like we dominate this planet, where everything seems to be ours because we are capable of intelligent thought. This makes us not think so much about humanity as a whole...We think about "those people" or "the Arabs" or "the Chinese" We think about ourselves and the people we as an individual know...

But we never really think about HUMANITY about HUMAN BEINGS as a RACE. If we met other races of equal or higher intelligence, or equal or higher culture...we would see...we would see that humanity is just one small puzzle piece, that there is a bigger picture...that to survive, we need to learn to love all other human beings because we are all one and the same.

He chooses

"It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities" -Professor Dumbledore to Harry Potter, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (p.245)

I remember reading this for the first time, a long time ago as a young lad, and having my entire world turned upside down. This quote taught me how to live, it taught me that I can choose, that I must choose and what I choose has consequences as well as rewards.

He watches the face of teenage freedom disintegrate slowly

A rather dramatic title, I know. Surprisingly, this post is actually about Facebook :o I suppose Twitter and other social networking sites would also relate. It's a topic brought up by my brother in a conversation we had, I'm really really tired right now, so please excuse my many impending errors.



Facebook is huge in our generation. Everyone that is someone has it, and I know that sounds like a generation but one must understand the usefulness of Facebook. It allows us to easily connect socially and meet new people. I have personally made many friends from Facebook. While people find it awkward to go up to someone and just introduce themselves, Facebook works in a different way. I can update my status with the idea in mind that my current friends will read it...But then someone who I don't really know but have as a friend (or not) reads it, and they comment. Thus, I begin to establish a friendship with this new person and hey, introductions made easy. It gives us mutual topics of conversation.

But is this really why we joined Facebook? As an individual, most people will say that they joined Facebook to keep in contact with their friends, and because their friends joined it, but I believe subconsciously at the least, there is so much more to it.

You see, back then, Facebook gave us teenagers our own little world. It was a world where we could easily escape from adults and just be ourselves with our friends. It was our own beautiful utopia. We could escape from the stress of work, chores and life just to share things with each other. We could use it as a realm of communication between each other for anything, from arranging meet ups for a project, to arranging parties to just talking and getting to know others. We could use Facebook to catch a glimpse in to the minds of our friends, in to the lives of our friends. We could see the kind of lives that others our age live and appreciate the differences.

Facebook represented teenage freedom in it's greatest entirety, it was our world...Not this world ruled by adults in their big corporations, it was our very own utopia with just our friends. This is why so many of us found it easy to get lost on Facebook, just hanging out or checking out our friends.

But alas, times change, and the greedy corporate adults invaded our own private utopia. Facebook is no longer the same, it is no longer about socializing and having fun...All of a sudden, Facebook is all about marketing and making money. It is about online scams and selling products, about companies creating names for themselves and trying to reach out to their audience, about manipulating the masses in order to gain profit.

Think about it, when we apply for a job, we are told that our employer will check our Facebook account. Was this the true intention of Facebook? Was this what we ever wanted? No, of course not. But alas, it must happen simply because we, the targeted audience has moved to a new form of entertainment, and business have adapted.

But does this not bug you my friends? Our own little world has been ruined once again. I got really annoyed to find my entire family on Facebook, they have a right to join it, and it serves them well in their own way...But man it's like an invasion, just stomping into my room and saying "hey man, sleeping here" or something.

Facebook still exists though. I have not deleted my Facebook or stopped using it, simply because my friends use it. And for that, it serves a good purpose in keeping updated with their lives, it allows me to arrange and organize events and participate in organized events, it allows me to just generally know what's going on...

But the spirit of it has died. Facebook is no longer what it once was, it is simply a dead shell, I've noticed that the enthusiasm around it is dying out too.

I suppose it is some what ironic, since Facebook itself is a large company.

But think about the bigger picture here. We are all constantly barraged by advertisements, ushered subconsciously into buying, told how to live our lives and taught what businesses want us to know...And why? Just so that those individuals can roll around in their pile of money. Our society has become absolutely monetary, it is all that seems to matter. But really? Is money all that important? These printed pieces of paper that represent success, wealth and how happy you will be life? Are there not more important things for us as human beings to do...than to greedily get money so that we are the ones living in comfort?

He wants

"When you want something that you have never had, you have to do something that you have never done. " - Anom.

He sighs at the lack of remorse in his generation

A few weeks ago, we were having a class discussion in English about whether or not we are responsible for accidentally causing a friends death. The situation described was that I am at a party and I convince my friend to drink alcohol. We are both very drunk and decide to jump off the roof into the pool and my friend does not make it.

What shocked me, was how many of my friends were saying that it is completely not my fault, or their own and that the friend in question has free will. Every one seemed to agree that it was his choice to drink the alcohol in the first place. It's really something that I've noticed a lot in our generation.

It seems like everyone just wants to hide, they don't want the responsibility. So many of us want to live in ignorance, because ignorance is bliss and all that any one seems to care about is being happy. We hide away and try to deny our own association in every action and put the blame on others.

While I agree that it is not completely my own fault in this situation, I would destroy my self with guilt. It is I who convinced my friend to drink and what ever happened after wards is the reaction to my action (in a physics way). It is the butter fly effect. It is because I was the one who offered my friend a drink that his parents have to cry, that there is one seat empty at their dinner table, that they never get to see their sons graduation.

In our discussion, the matter was more on whether we should be found guilty of manslaughter or not. I don't agree with that for sure, even if it is our fault, I don't think we should punished that harshly for something that was more of an accident than anything. This is not the point of the post though, it is the reaction that everyone seems to take. Everyone argued that they had nothing to do with his death and he could have avoided it easily.

Do you forget? That in our society there is no free will. Many say "no once can force you." Of course they can force you, and people do force you. Maybe not forcefully but psychologically for sure. Think about my friend in this situation, he is given a choice of becoming a social out cast, to not really belong, to never really belong with his friends, or to drink with them. In a society that forces people to conform to belong, this boy really has no choice.

When he takes the drink, he thinks about the consequences which WILL happen, such as becoming an outcast. Not only at the party, but as general in his social group. If he is to deny a drink now, not knowing that taking the drink would cause his death, he would pretty much be denying drinks every time it is offered. The consequence? He won't be a part of the social group in which the act of consuming alcohol is commonly performed. He knows this.

What he does not think about are the consequences which CAN happen, such as him falling off a roof and dying. This is what his choice is based on.


Now, if I was the one who offered him the drink in the first place, that put him under pressure and created a situation where he was forced to choose, I would feel absolutely horrible. His death is 100% my fault and not as much his own. Even if it wasn't me who offered the drink per say, but rather just drank at the party, I would feel horrible for his death, because I too contributed to the social pressure.

I sigh, I sigh deeply at how my generation tries to run away. I know I'm over viewing and stereotyping here, I know there are others out there who would live their entire life in immense guilt, there are others who would commit suicide out of the guilt of their actions. But from this set of data, as well constant observations on the smallest things I have really started to believe that there is in general a serious lack of remorse in our society.

A smaller example I've seen before, is asking a friend to print something and him/her forgetting to do so. The next day when I ask, they say that they forgot mono tonally and without remorse and when I QQ a bit, they cry out "Well it's your fault your printer wasn't working." I mean really?

Or when asking a friend to edit an essay and their edit causes me to lose a mark. When I show them this, more jokingly and they go "Well, it's your fault for not re editing." Yes, it is my fault for not re editing, but do you really have such little remorse, when I had such faith in your judgement?

Maybe, hopefully YOU are one of the people who does feel immense guilt. I know it sounds masochistic, but guilt is actually a really good thing, I think. It allows an individual to grow, to create a moral compass. Guilt causes us to not do bad things, it allows us to feel for others, and thus gain empathy. Guilt can form bonds between friends and family, it can be what allows us to keep our friends. It can cause us to do great things for another.

I don't mean to criticize too much in this post, I know that this may seem offensive to many of you and many of you will think I am an idiot. I am an idiot to be honest. I know that I have no gate way into your mind, that I cannot see what you are really thinking, what you are really feeling and you are right. Maybe you are feeling immense guilt every time? But then the question arises of why you hide it? Maybe I'm just being an idiot. But please try to remember the purpose of this blog. This blog is not there to give concrete definitions of society. Rather, it is a description of how I perceive it. It is a collection of my thoughts and ideas, of the impression that society imprints on MY mind.

He wonders why

Why do you brood so much
Over things that should not occupy so much time

Why do you worry
about who you are?
No,
About who you are to others?

Why do you change?
Not for yourself,
but for others?

Have you no faith
in your friends
to believe
in you?

Or is it because of what you do?
Do you harshly gaze upon others
and fear the same in return?


Have you forgotten,
that in the end we are all so selfish,
that no one cares about who you are
they only care about who they themselves are

He wonders at others less fortunate

Have you ever wondered, how despite how hard, cruel and unfair life has been to them; people still find a way to be happy?

Yet us here in all our good fortunes, still find a way to be sad.

He wonders about the eternal promise

"Take my eyes for what I've seen, I will give my sight to you
You are free to choose whatever life to live or life to lose
Whatever god you know he knows you better than you believe
In your once and future grave you'll fall endlessly deceived"

- Bruce Dickinson, Starblind: Iron Maiden

This is most definitely going to be my most controversial post yet. Depending on who you are, you may just hate me endlessly for this post for which I apologize. Please do not be offended, I do not mean to offend anybodies religion. I simply want to express a view I have on many religious people and I do not want many of my friends to succumb to the same fate.

One may have guessed that this post is entirely about religion and a certain perspective I have on a part of it.

My personal religion isn't really important in this topic of conversation, what I can say is that I have grown up in a very strict muslim family. Years of my life have been wasted on islamic education and studying the principles and beliefs of the religion. I was to be pretty honest, highly indoctrinated until I came here to Canada and developed my own view point. If my parents were to read this post (as is a good possibility, I will probably be skinned alive :P )

How ever, despite my own religion or lack there of, I have no prejudice what so ever against others who have faith. I realize that through out history, religion has done many great things for man, I also realize that religion has held humanity back and prevented us from truly progressing. I realize that many human beings want a life with a purpose, as I do and a religion is a very common explanation to the meaninglessness of life.

How ever, it is the things we do for religion that truly saddens me. Religious belief in my opinion is a very selfish act. Consider, that the primary reason anyone believes in religion is because of the promise of heaven, because they believe that believing in and being faithful to their god will promise them an eternity of happiness. People help others not for the sake of the person they are helping, but rather to get brownie points with god and move closer to their own eternal happiness. Through out history, religious beliefs have prevented humanity from taking risks or doing anything that would risk an individuals own entry to heaven.

Now, I know that most of my religious friends and anyone reading this blog really aren't like this. I know that most religious people are in fact good people, I just hope they are for the right reasons. Many kids grow up learning that doing something bad will anger god, this has been a great tool throughout history for keeping mankind in check. But it is also a major limitation, where does this "bad" begin? Generally speaking, anything that god spoke out against, or even didn't mention in one of his many holy books is considered bad, humanity is limited by this severely.

I'm not going to get into too much detail about this, because it really isn't the topic of this blog post.


It truly truly saddens me to see these intelligent, smart and great people waste away their precious lives for potentially empty promises.

For so many people, religion becomes everything. Appease god in this short meaningless life of ours so that we may obtain the eternal promise of heaven. There are so many people that spend all of their time following religion in a way or another. An example would be a priest that gives up his entire life to live one restricted completely by religion. Throughout my life, I often see people who are so immersed in their belief of heaven that they limit their lives drastically. This goes for every single religion out there, imans in islam being another example. These smart people who could have better'd humanity in so many ways waste their chance away.

But for what? The promise of eternal happiness in heaven?

But what if my friend, what if that promise is not real? What if when we die, it is the end of our existence? What if we embrace that we only have one life, one life that can end at any one second. What if everything we have learned from childhood about religion is false? What if it was all just created by humans in order to control others? What if it's all lies, lies fabricated to give us our own purpose?

What if god does not exist?


Now most of my religious friends will have cringed so hard at that statement and closed the tab. They will probably never open this blog again.

We are scared to embrace this idea, because of religions device. We have been warned of an eternity spent in hell, burning endlessly if we do not embrace the existence of god. Fear is what has controlled mankind, fear of hell.


But just speculate my friends, if god does not exist.

All these people that spend their one and only life, worshiping and trying to appease a god that may not exist. Is it not a wasted life? The promise of heaven may just disappear the moment we die, is it not a wasted life then? A priest that spend his entire life with limitations, who died a virgin because that is what his god asked of him. Is his life not wasted if god does not exist?

Or a muslim extremist, that commits suicides in the name of a god that potentially does not exist? Is it not sad that another life is thrown away for a promise that will be broken? People that wear veils, repent for their sins believing that everything is okay no matter what they have done just because they may still get into heaven. People that refuse medicinal treatment for their dying child because they wait for gods miracle; people that murder "possessed" children.

What if it's all been wasted?

It truly and deeply saddens me to see so many human beings living their life without meaning. Simply going through the motions of religious belief because they believe that this life is only a transition into eternity. Because they believe that what they do for god in this life will reward them in the future. Obviously everyone is entitled to live their life accordingly to how they see fit. I just feel that in many cases like this, people are misguided and not really aware of every possibility.

Please don't misunderstand me, continue to worship god and do your religious things. I embrace the possibility that there is a god, that there is a heaven and a greater purpose for each of us.

But what I ask, is that my religious friends please please embrace the possibility that maybe, just maybe there is no god, that maybe the promise of heaven is not real.
Continue to practice your religion, but please embrace this possibility.

The reason, is that by embracing this possibility you allow yourself to live a life of fulfillment. You allow yourself to truly appreciate this life and live for the moment. You do not limit what you do in life, you do not live a life simply for heaven. You live.

And he steps once again into the realm of artistic creation

A few months ago, I made a post about my dreams of becoming a musician. I try to realize this dream every day and over the March break, I actually ended up recorded my second song. It's a rockish instrumental, what ever that accounts for.

Here it is:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VHCOMTEH0TI&feature=channel_video_title




Now, the quality in this song sucks. The recording tone is really bad, and this mostly due to how bad my equipment is. My equipment also caused a lot of recording lag thus giving me a very very hard time. That's why it's slightly out of time in a few spots, sorry about that.

How ever, this is just a demo and I plan to re record this some day with proper recording equipment instead of a rough improvised set up.


Composing this song was a delight for me, it took ages! There were so many different musical themes and various techniques I wanted to incorporate in it and it took a lot of trial and error with these. I made many nice melodies that just weren't right and at a few points I feel like I tried too hard to incorporate certain ideas that it could have done without. All in all though, I am pretty proud of what I accomplished with this song.

I know that it is no perfect creation for any one even remotely musically talented, but for me this was a massive step, I hope my faithful and much appreciated blog readers are able to appreciate this song, sorry if it has wasted your time if you don't.

And he looks down the long and winding path ahead

This post might be a bit depressing, it's really not meant to be discouraging to anyone who might actually be reading it. I know it sounds like it, but I hope it comes off more as a warning and a big caution sign. A way of saying that we need to work hard to get far, that's my message here, don't take it the wrong way. Sorry about how badly written it is.



Every day I read scientific articles about some crazy new invention or new medicine that has the potential to cure this or that. And every day upon reading this, I sigh in a sort of despair. The complications behind these discoveries are immense. Mankind has progressed so far that I can't possibly ever imagine learning so much that I would be ever able to create these amazing things/ inventions.

The amount of science, knowledge and immense hard work that would go into making a nano bot that can pierce a Bacterias membrane and destroy it from within thus not allowing bacterial resistance to build up as it is not chemically based is crazy. Think about everything we know at our age right now and multiply that exponentially and then take into account the massive progressions in science that would have happened by the time we grow up.

I read these articles and I just want to give up, there is no way that I can possibly achieve such results or greatness, ever. But then I think to my self that none of these achievements are made by a single human being but rather a collaboration of great minds. That these great minds have each specialized in that one discovery for months, years until they have learnt everything there is to know about it. Until after so much hard work, finally they have made a break through.

And then I think about every one else. Everyone that is working so hard and diligently on their own thing, but science or what ever their field may be is not in their favor. These people who I will never know or read about simply because they failed to produce any thing overtly significant, then I realize that this is the majority of the population in the developed world.

I made that entire thing sort of scientifically applied, but it really applies to every field. Every day I read about 14 year olds who've come up with these great entrepreneur ideas and even have their investors and everything. I read about some crazy musical prodigy who at 8 is easily breezing through Mozart pieces. The entire time, I just sit there and think about how pathetic I am in the over all picture.

I sit there, and I think about how long the path is ahead of me, the world has become so competitive that to be good, you have to be damn good. I often just sit and want to give up, to give up this hard competitive life, where I will spent my entire existence competing with others just so that I can compete with others just so that I can feed my self. This is survival of the fittest, or rather, the smartest. I don't mean this in a suicidal way, rather I mean I just want to give up trying to be successful, just embrace something much more lowly and maybe more enjoyable? But my pride won't let me.


I'm one who often wants to believe in the perfect world that poets, revolutionaries and story writers talk about. The world where hard work is met with rewards, where people are not judged for their appearance, where people are simply not judged at all.

But the harsh reality as I have found out the harder way, is that you are being judged. Everything we do, every step we take we are judged by other human beings. In return, we're always judging others. If we want to be successful in life, it is crucial to be aware of others.

I would love it if the world was such that I could wake up and come to school (or work in the future) with my bed hair and in my messy clothes. But we all know I can't. If I do, I am judged negatively, it is not representative of my character or who I am to those who know me. But everyone ends up producing negative thoughts, negative judgments that add up to create an over all picture of us which is spread farther through gossip and stuff.

Instead I have to put on a facade which does not represent who I am, instead it represents who I want everyone to think I am. I want to give a good impression. Personally, I would have liked it if my personality gave off the good impression and not my appearance, but that's just the way of the world. The harsh world.

All the hard work we do may never be enough if we are not connected, if we are not able to socially interact with the right people, if we are not at the right place at the right time. Despite what our reputation may become, we will be cheated on, we will be taken advantage of, we will be deceived by others. We will be used as a tool, we will feel that we are not reaching our true potential, we will eventually die.

Those of us who make it far in the ladder will end up being the ones who use others, but even then they will suffer at the hands of selfish mankind.

What will it take to get far in life? To die a success and not a number? Who knows? But the path ahead of us is long and hard. There will be many obstacles, but we will live on. We will be happy for those tiny moments where we are with the people who truly care. The people who know us beyond the facade that hides every person. We will cherish these moments in between the moments of despair and depravity that are bound to come as well.

One thing I do know, is that we cannot give up. Not for the sake of humanity, our families or our friends, but for our own sake.

Alone

Have you ever felt alone?
Like you're in a monstrous world
where you are the monster?
And no one seems to understand or care
Where your mind is the only solitude you have
and you hide away
from others
but mostly
from yourself

He looks at the miracle that is the human mind.

I didn't make a single blog post in the month of my birth, I guess I was a bit distracted by things but then, probably no one noticed. :p
This post is probably way more theoretical than practical.

One of the things I always find my self doing in social settings is trying to read my friends. Trying to figure out exactly what they are thinking, but really it's so impossible. No matter what I think they are thinking, they are thinking differently, processing differently, understanding completely different points of view.



If I could have one super power, it would be the ability to read minds. Now at the same time, this is that one super power I would fear the most, If I did have it, I would probably not ever use it, simply out of respect and also out of fear.

The mind is mans last fortress. When all else fails him or her, the mind is where we retreat, where we sort things out, where we try to metaphorically get back on our feet. To invade this final stand must be the absolute rudest thing that any one can do to another human being, I'd rather be stabbed in the private than have my mind invaded. I'm sure this feeling is very much mutual amongst most of my peers.

Our mind, our own thoughts, they are like our very best friend, you know that friend that you share absolutely every thing with? I don't know if it's just me, but occasionally I feel like my mind is a separate entity from my body, that they are bonded through a sort of friendship. I'm guessing this might be related to the entire yoga concept with "body and mind" or what ever :S

I think reading someone else's mind would be too intense. It would be everything that person is. Such a vast network of thoughts and bodily processes. I know for a fact, that if I tried reading someone else's mind, I would get completely lost in it. I'd forget who I am, probably become so much more like them and that's assuming I could escape. I guess that person would probably feel a bit awkward with me staring at them for a few days straight =D

But on the other hand, there are few things that fascinate me more than the mind. How we internally think is amazing. We take all these emotions, put our words to them and then there's more to it. I don't know how we think about things that don't have specific emotions attached to them. As an example, a hard thinking math question. There is a portion of that question that our memory answers, which in it self is a miracle. Then there's an entire other part that our mind sort of improvises, what guidelines are set here? What causes us to think, what is our mind doing?

Through life, one becomes so accustomed to their own minds, which goes hand in hand with the saying that no one knows you better than yourself. But every one is so different, I'd like to imagine what someone who is deaf and has never heard or learnt any spoken language thinks. How do they think about complicated math equations, in pictures? how? What is this???

And even in less extreme comparisons, no one else thinks like me. Everyone has a completely different way of thinking, I would love to hear the voices that my friends hear in their heads, their thought processes. Alas, I can only guess.

It's so easy for us to hide what goes on inside our heads. It's so easy for us to put up a facade, pretend nothing is wrong when obviously we're killing ourselves inside. It's so easy for us to just lie. Imagine what the soldiers who fought alongside Hitler in World War I thought of him? Did they ever specifically think he was going to grow and become what he did? I very much doubt it.

A friend could be an absolute best friend to you. Just when you think you have them sorted out and know's what irks them and so on. You're talking, all happy faced but you have no idea what's going on in their minds do you? Chances are they could be thinking of your head dangling from a pike somewhere on K2.

But at the same time, people you least expect to can really and truly surprise you with goodness of heart. It's like you never really know any body.


Some times it feels like there is no world outside our own minds. The mind is the beauty of the individual, there is so much to every person. Of course, this very fact often ends up being our own downfall. Because of this, we are all so involved with what there is to us ourselves, that we never really notice, or never really care, about the lives of others. There is an extent to which we care, to which we show them we care, but in the end what is it to us really? I suppose this is how life survives, each individual for them selves.

Was this entire post a bit cliche? sorry =|